as soon as I turn 18. I should be thrilled about that birthday when it comes but the reality of it is I'm terrified. Yes, I want a little freedom, but I'm not prepared for total independence. And that's exactly what could very well happen.
The fact is, I'm a total lazy bum. I hate work. Anything that requires any kind of effort with zero interest tends to bore me to the point of tears. Besides, when I did work... I didn't get to save my money. There was no point in continuing; mom was basically making me give her all my earnings one way or another. Bleh. I do realise that I'm spoiled, stubborn, manipulative, and I've never really been punished a day in my life. Seriously. I've never even been grounded. I just get told what a piece of shit I am (in my head I repeat that sentence with a sarcastic little laugh).
So yes. I have no work ethics; hell, I barely even have ethics at all, depending on who you ask.
The thing is, because I'm a year behind in my classes-- having fucked around, I didn't actually fail a year, I just didn't complete enough credits, it's entire my fault and due to my enthralling procrastination skills-- I won't be graduating until I'm nineteen. That leaves an entire year in my mother's house where I will have to succumb to every whim and agree with fervor that I will never succeed at anything. And somehow still manage to cling to the hope that maybe I one day will.
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